soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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