bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A bitchslap is in order.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
