he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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