Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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