While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
