Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
farters have to be the big spoon...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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