Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
