I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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