No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
