is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
