and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wish my penis had a tongue
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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