Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
