porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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