i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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