Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
