with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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