I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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