you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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