Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
