The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
