But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
