So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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