You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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