in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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