I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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