so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
