K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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