I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
