on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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