And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
