if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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