I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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