if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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