For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
