i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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