HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
