I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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