just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
