i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
