All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
