Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
