Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
