i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
