my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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