Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
