My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
