I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We are two peas in an std pod
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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