U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
