Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
