Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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