i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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